My History is Now /mī ˈhist(ə)rē iz nou/ phrase . – 1: an individual’s intrinsic link to the past, present, and future. 2: the idea that every action has historical significance. 3: to urge someone to make the most of the present time.
– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I am Bernetta McKindra and have been on this journey quite awhile. There’s been a lot of ups and downs. Good and bad. I think that the good has far surpassed the bad. My background is I am from Kansas City, Kansas. My family is from Bonner Springs, Kansas and but I went to school (grew up) in Kansas City, Kansas. I’m the youngest of five siblings. And so, it’s quite a span between me being the youngest and my oldest sibling. There were four girls and one boy… two sisters have already passed. We grew up on the northern part of Kansas City, Kansas in Juniper Gardens housing project for the most part.
And I went to school there (in that area) all my life. In fact, there are about five of us now that have been together since elementary school and graduated from same high school… the orange and black, the, the original Sumner High School. And we still meet to this day… and it’s a warm community where we support each other. And I’m saying that to say that there was a cluster of neighborhoods that was together and a lot of that was before desegregation. So that’s always a good feeling too… to be able to not live in the community now but still have such deep roots in the community.
I got out of high school, I went to Donnelly College and that was during the time after the riots and everything. They were given grants to students. I might add that I was the first one in my family to graduate from high school and the first one to graduate from college. So, I went to Donnelly College and it opened up a new avenue for me that I didn’t know it was there. Started talking to people that were from other countries and people that were from Kansas City, Kansas, but you know, just had never come in contact with them. So that was a good. I’d say Donnelly College… I’m pretty endeared to it and it has helped shape me.
I went on to graduate from my undergraduate. Years later after that, I went on and got my masters of education from the University of St. Mary in Leavenworth (Kan.). Pretty much I’ve spent my life working with people. I love working with people. I love working with high school, college age students. I went back and worked for Donnelly College. And from there, I worked as a Graduate Assistant the University of St. Mary. I also have worked at Girl Scouts and worked as a Director at Cristo Rey Kansas City High School. All of my work has been working with the youth and young people.
I think they give me energy. I learn from them, they learn from me. And so, I really just enjoy that. Along this journey of working, I also found myself being called to ministry. And so, I was a full-time pastor. Prior to being a full-time pastor, I was a senior associate at my the church. So the gospel of Jesus Christ has really shaped me and given me a foundation. Peripherally, I passed that on to my daughter, who’s married, and my precious little granddaughter who is nine now.
In general, I would say that beauty lies within the heart. There’s a Bible passage that says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). And so, I say what transcends out of a heart really defines and gives us beauty.
I would define Black beauty still as being what is in a person’s heart. Now, the content of the heart really has to do with a lot of things that we have experienced outwardly. What I’m saying with that is that Black beauty is really something that is special. And I’m thinking about as I’m answering this (question) is what I’m teaching my granddaughter who goes to school in a non-Black community. Really having her know that beauty is within our hearts and it’s not what somebody else has defined as beauty is the beauty that we carry within us that emanates. And the beauty comes from above. It’s a God given thing. Do not to let what someone else’s idea of what beauty is define us… define you… define me.
Yes, it’s still prevalent today. I do not live in the community that I was raised in. I do not live in the community that I bought my (original) house in…. that I grew up in, that I worked in. Several years ago, my husband passed…. So I moved just a few miles down the road. And so to define what is Black culture… There’s still that feeling when I go back to KCK (Kansas City, Kansas). There’s that feeling of when I’m with my high school friends and we’re doing breakfast once a month and there’s just a language, there’s just a community.
Oftentimes, you don’t even have to speak words. It’s just like a summoning. No matter where you are, you know that when you see a name, when you see a wedding, when you go to a breakfast or something, there’s just this family feeling that’s there with you. You know, it’s almost like you could be somewhere and that other person will be somewhere else and they play a tune, it’s bringing you back to the same place.
I don’t know that I can recall experiencing societal pressures as a child growing up. Not to say that they weren’t there, but you know, if it didn’t happen to me, it didn’t happen. And part of that reason being that you just didn’t go a long way outside of your community. At least we (my family) didn’t. I’m sure there were other Blacks, other African Americans that did. But, we just were in this little neighborhood, in this little circle and everything was encompassed in there. So, I didn’t feel societal pressures there, didn’t even feel it in the people that I associated with when I got to college because you still found your community of people that looked like you. You might do other things and work on college projects with other people in your classroom. Still, when we got through (with class), we got in our cars and we back to where we came from.
However, a couple of things that just happened within the last few years that I really knew “something sounds a little different here” was when I was pastoring the church not far from my house. In fact, it was at the end of the block.
I had been familiar with the church for years. I had went back and filled in the pulpit for the pastor when the pastor was away. It was an all White congregation and I had a longstanding relationship with them for at least 10 to 15 years, never dreaming that one day I would be “the” pastor. So, I was working at a job when I felt the call or the need of God. I like to do things in my community… So, I resigned from my job to go and be the pastor of the church. So, I sat there for a couple of years as the senior associate pastor… my name coming up on the program every week. So they (the church) moved the people… they moved the pastors they appointed. The church is not that large. So where did they think the next pastor was going to come from if I’m the senior associate… if I’m the associate pastor? So, I was appointed the pastor.
The next week when the congregation would come through, they would say, uh, Bernetta… Pastor, this is my last Sunday. So, that was that was my first experience. And, I didn’t have a problem so much with them being upfront and honest about it. Them wanting to move on did not necessarily have to be because of my color. However, there was a family in the church and the gentleman wrote me a letter, which I still have. He told me that he did not believe that the church was ready for a woman or an African American. So he waited (to tell me his issue). We had fellowship… been at their house to eat and everything for about the last 10 years. And so my question being, where in the world did they think the next pastor was coming from?
If they know the progression is an assistant moves on to be the pastor, where did they think the pastor was coming from? So, that was very hurtful. It was hurtful also because during that time my husband passed and the denomination did not send a replacement. They did not send anybody to support me. They just kind of like left me there, like I didn’t exist. And so, that has probably being the the most imminent thing in my mind as far as race.
I can’t really recall specific experiences. Only hearing my parents talk. It did not, as far as I can remember, directly affect me at that time. But a few years later, which we (my friends and I) still talk about to this day, the schools opened up to where now there was busing. Before we were in that close-knit community and a few years later, it was no longer Sumner High School. It became Sumner Academy. And so all of the memorable beauty, all the things that we had there were just parceled out. And what I remember (about that moment) was, I don’t think that we knew that was going to happen. So, your world was fragmented. I can remember some people that would normally have gone to an all-Black school… their older sisters and brothers went to that school… it was kind of a family thing that you went to that school. And you thought that you would be going (to that school) and graduating, but now you were going somewhere else and other people were coming into your community.
Hmm. That one takes just a little thought. What I think that I’m most proud of is the mentorship and the leadership that I have been a catalyst for. Providing, or being the bridge, or the resource, for a group of people. That probably is one thing that I feel good about. Like I said (earlier), my granddaughter is nine and I (also) feel good about helping her, especially at this point in life. And only having one (grandchild), you know, the things that I can teach her and impart to her are wonderful. But, overall, just really the ministers and other people that I have mentored and continue to mentor… watching them grow and blossom.
One of the other things that I’m proud of: when I was at the church there was a program that I created to honor the women who were just unsung. I did it for a couple of years…. I plan to establish it again. But, I see women all the time. When you’re watching TV and people are getting awards, you know, they’ll have women but the women they’re honoring have always done a lot of something in the community, like served on boards. What about the women that are Sunday school teachers? What about the women that are foster grandparents? What about people that would just be overjoyed if they got a letter in the mail and told them to come to this award ceremony? So, I put together a little review board, asked my friends and they asked their friends to nominates someone. And that’s what they did. We had the ceremonies in the church. And I tell you… If you could see them when their names were called. They never thought anybody was paying attention to what they were doing.
One of my favorite books that really moved me was Succeeding Against the Odds. It’s about John H. Johnson, the founder of Ebony. It was almost like a journal. I can’t remember the town that he came from, but when his mother was saving up money for him and she didn’t have enough at the end of the year, he had to repeat that grade over again until his mother got enough money to send him on. And the ridicule that he got from some people in the town because they decided his life path. You know, like he could be in here working and you’re having him wait another year? You’re having to do this another time? But his mother saw that there was something in him and she wanted a better life for him. So, he was obedient, he stayed the course, and it eventually paid off. I can’t say it was the best book, but for where I was (in my life), it just really stuck (with me).
To make the net wider for the people that I mentor… Make the net wider for resources and connections. You know, we stay segmented in our own thoughts, in our own communities and our own minds, but bringing the same people that didn’t ever think they could have a seat at the table and to be able to be the catalyst of bringing them to the table would be my dream.
I think it goes back to the word of God. It says love will always prevail. And that has to be what I live by. Regardless what goes on in the world, if we don’t have the hope and the faith in Christ and follow the path that he has given us, then we are going to be miserable people. All hope was gone. So for me, that’s the foundation of what I have to come back to. And I recognize that there are so many other people that have had far greater experiences of segregation and other things being done to them. For me, that answer has to be no matter what… it might not be that easy… I have to come back to what God says.
I’m glad you asked that question because, like I told you, I live in a different community in a different neighborhood now. So, what I said for this year is that I’m going to reach out to my neighbors and not wait until they reach out to me. Just begin to show kindness. For a couple of the neighbors, I can’t see their house numbers but I see my mail person all the time, especially on the weekends. I’ve begun to ask her what the house numbers were. I write just a little note telling them a little bit about myself and inviting them over if they see me out.
To be present. I know that’s the word that we use all the time, but when you’re connected with your phone, it means that you’re not connected with anybody else around you. Making eye contact and those little niceties. I think for me I had to recognize, okay, this is where I am today. This is my community now. And so with that attitude and that thought, it brings me into being vulnerable. I have to connect with people and emanating, as I said, from the heart. As a Christian, being a catalyst for God and really loving your neighbor. That is the connection that I have.
Recognizing each other’s gifts. Kindness. Leading from the heart and with the heart. My dream for society would be that we will be able to come to the table for conversation, listen through pure eyes and ears, and be open to what the other people have to say.
It would be through reading, education, fellowship, music, and community.
Never give up hope. Know the source of wisdom. Follow the path of wisdom. Pure wisdom comes from above.
Probably cause I’m with a non-black community more than I thought I’d be than I’d ever be… I’d advise to listen… to actively listen… to intently listen and not categorize. Because when you start to categorize, you don’t listen as intently. You’re already compartmentalizing and thinking that you already know the outcome. So, I would say listen intently.
Stay in touch… Not only with technology, but make the visits, make the phone calls. A text is a means of communication, but it’s not the answer. It’s not face-to-face. You can get so much from a person when you’re in the presence of them.
Interview Date: 01/14/2020
Day 1 — Story posted on January 31, 2020